It’s 30 minutes before bedtime and you walk into your child’s room. You find them sitting at their desk and the homework that they should have finished is still half-done. It’s been over an hour since you reminded them to finish up, how are they on the same problem?! Instead of working, the TV is on. You ask your child several times why they’ve been wasting time and before you know it, you’ve lost it. You’re not proud of your reaction and if you’ve ever felt like this as a parent: you are not alone. It may be time for a Parenting Rewind.
Pausing before we react can be difficult, especially when emotions are high. Just remember that you already have the skills to do this! When you’re able to connect to yourself and regulate your emotions, you’re better equipped and prepared to connect to your child and help them make sense of their emotions. By pausing first and asking questions, you can start to look underneath your child’s behavior. Maybe they’re struggling to understand it or feeling overwhelmed. Maybe they’re exhausted from their responsibilities or need help fine-tuning their organization skills. Pausing gives you the ability to understand the problem. From there, you can come up with a plan to offer help. Just like any skill, this takes practice. Be gentle and patient with your child and with yourself!
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Note: The accompanying script to this Parenting Rewind video is available in the member’s dashboard available with family and professional subscriptions. Learn more here!
I’m in tears! This struck so close to home – my poor boy! I try to keep it calm and sometimes I just don’t get what’s going on! Thanks so much for this reminder to love first, and connect! I love my kids so much and feel so bad when they struggle, thanks for this reminder on how to lead with empathy!